Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
