turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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