The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
