whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
