wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
