You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just wanna soil my oats bro
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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