he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
