But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize