I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
