They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize