Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
