The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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