i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize