8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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