Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
