Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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