The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
