I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
