Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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