I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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