idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
