Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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