I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
if i can run in heels then i can drive
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
