did you get engaged???
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
