i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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