I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize