Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
