I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
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