I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize