It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
