apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
