so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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