this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize