dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You may now shotgun with the bride
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
