Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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