The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
