Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you would pick up someone in the library
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
