Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
