well most of my day revolves around power hour
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
