I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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