You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize