I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize