anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We got so high we made milksteak
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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