That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
