imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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