it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
