this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
They are going to name an STD after you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
