dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize