He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
