i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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