And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
