he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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