Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
