whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
