Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
