What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
