no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize