i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
