I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
