In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize