he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
