he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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