that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
