it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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