32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So much rum. So many feels.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
